Reverse Work-Related Stress by Knowing When to Say Bye-Bye to Bosszilla

So you find yourself working for Bosszilla and are at the point where you end up dreading the start of each workday. With tons of suggestions floating around about making it through your day at the office with said boss, you will find some very executable and effective suggestions on how to cope. BUT as you will find, they work only in the short-term. Depending on the severity of your situation, perhaps it’s time to examine what are possibly the 3 biggest indicators of when you should leave a bad situation. They are:

  1. The long-term view.   

If all things remain the same in your workplace, how long could you stick with the job? Consider the  culture of your company: What seems to be tolerated or overlooked by management and/or support staff?  If you see no signs of improvement (a new boss or departmental transfer) in a timeframe that is within reason for you, then it’s time to create your exit plan.

     2.  Obsessing over the situation.

–   If you find yourself thinking and talking about your job and boss at an increasing rate – not in a good way;

–   If you find thoughts of work-related injustices repeatedly racing around in your head or if you are constantly trying to strategize how to handle the next confrontation;

–  If all semblance of work life balance is out the window since mentally you remain at work, it is time hit the road.   stressed woman51215

3.  Impact on health.

This by far is the greatest indicator of whether you should continue to work for a person or company you find intolerable. No matter how you try to suppress your stress response to your work environment, your body will start sending subtle nudges that something needs to be addressed. Not feeling too great occasionally progresses to where you find yourself regularly in your doctor’s offices. It’s time to wake up and realize that if you hang on to your job while your health is going down the tubes, you will discover your old awesome, dynamic self gradually disappearing. Make plans for a new job while your health is screaming for attention.

Next Steps 

If, after careful consideration, you decide to leave, develop your exit strategy. Your exit strategy will consist of putting a plan in place to help you find a job:

* Updating your resume,

* Honing your interview skills,

* Networking,

* Taking an additional course or two to make yourself more marketable.

On average the well-prepared job hunter takes about six months to land a new position. This would be the optimum time to research best job hunting practices to gain a competitive edge since you wouldn’t want to quit your current job without a new job in place.

While gearing up for your job search, embrace the positive emotions of knowing your bad situation will be coming to a rewarding end. Be mindful and appreciative of any and all gains you made in your current job. This will also help you keep your cool at work while implementing your strategy. Above all, focus on the new job opportunity that will be coming your way. Surprisingly, positive thinking goes far by clearing the path to allow good things to happen for you.    young girl 51215

Most important, along with your new job road map, start spending time on as many self-care activities as possible to help you heal from the negative effects you experienced at your job. Get massages, pick up your favorite hobbies, reconnect with old friends. This is so important because the situations endured at the hands of Bosszilla can have lasting effects and you want to say bye-bye to all that stress while bringing your life back to a healthy balance.












Fair Pay for White-Collar Workers

From blog

Shortcut to Living in the Moment

Spring Photo 5615Your calendar is filled and it’s hard to eke out some You time. Work/life balance is clearly out of whack. Making the situation worse is that learned inability to be fully in the moment especially during your personal fun time. And face it, if you are not fully in the moment of enjoying your leisure activities, you are not reaping the full benefits of stress relief, deep connection and overall richness of life.

mountain_cyclist[1]If you surf the net or are an avid reader, you can’t escape the information swirling around about being in the moment. Our lives are so caught up with the increased demands of work, family obligations and/or school that our minds are leapfrogging to what comes next. This is a recipe for stress that causes poor eating habits, lack of sleep and overall poor health hygiene. Enter here: LIVING IN THE MOMENT.

Being in the moment is a great precursor to meditation. But, even if you are not into being all Zen, at least you can start regaining some control over your sanity by slowing down your mind when engaged in particular activities throughout the day. It is a matter of focusing on all the small, usually overlooked details of the experience. time_to_meditate5615

How many times during the last full month did you free your mind enough to fully engage in a fun activity? Did you recently pursue a hobby or attend a social event in which you allowed yourself to be fully in those moments and not thinking about the upcoming  business meeting?

Make an appointment with yourself to do something special-something truly enjoyable, and allow yourself to fully soak up all the good feelings emanating from that experience.


You can find me at

(Updating the Workplace Sanctuary blog is underway)



Is The Bully at Work Still Not Hearing You?

Thought I’d share the weekly message from Bully Free At Work. It’s a great website to get information about this form of abuse and what to do about it. bully not hearing



Resculpt your life – that is a good way to approach it. Many of us walk around following the routine that sculpting5315was laid out for us perhaps by family, friends or by society, yet at our core, we may be totally dissatisfied by what is going on both inside and around us. I suggest digging well below the surface and find the old things that meant happiness and see if it still holds true. When we can scrape the surface of what made us happy we often find that we have drifted so far off our mark we don’t know if and when we will get back to that place of true joy.

A million dollars would be great to have but of course we know that money buys very real yet very temporary joy. Taking that dream a step further, that million dollars would have been easier to attain through employment 10 or 15 years ago than now with salaries not staying abreast of cost of living.

little league5315Family-related activities bring joy, but work hours and related stresses affect how and when we do interact with family. The other factor is that society currently dictates is that the more time children spend in organized activities translates into some kind of better life. Better for the child? So if I get this right, both parents work all week, then the kids are engaged in activities after school and on weekends. With consistent time crunches, meals are of fast food5315the grab and go variety. That doesn’t seem like fun to me. But then again I think at times the expression on both children’s and parents’ faces say it all.

Singles don’t always fare better. I contracted with a young single woman who I thought had a successful life. Then I witnessed her boss yelling at her, which I learned he did regularly. Without understanding the dynamics of their working relationship I  wondered if this was a good employment match since she had lots of health issues which seemed to have been related to work stress.

psych5315There has been a surge in the psychology and science of happiness and it is quite timely. In an era when there appears to be advances and opportunities as never before, so is the increase of physical and mental health issues. Somehow the way we live our lives don’t reflect the anticipated benefits from these strides.

No we can’t just up and quit jobs and stay home and spend hours in leisure activities, but I throw out the suggestion to take some time to evaluate your life and discern what the happiness factor is in your life.

Some of the factors that feed or starve our happiness are:

How we feel about ourselves

How we feel about making a living

How we feel about our relationships

How we feel about our non-work life

This is just a basic exercise that may jolt what may be derailing your level of happiness. Perhaps the one area that causes the most unhappiness could be your starting point in making a shift toward a happier life.

Now I must include here that sad/bad things do happen in life. Resilience is the ability to recover from these things in a timely manner. When we have great difficulty or can’t recover from a hurtful or traumatic event then we may need to seek out the appropriate support to help us develop our resilience.

In upcoming blogs I will be delving deeper into happiness but it is up to you to find out which adjustments you need to make to start creating your path to happiness. In researching this topic, you will find lots of great information, but the various “formulas” vary from writer to writer. This is actually a good thing because you can combine different suggestions to create the right fit for you. Since we all have different genetic makeup and lead different lives, so we find that we can tailor a formula for our own personal happiness fit.


When I started  Workplace Sanctuary, the goal was very specific in addressing issues surrounding workplace bullying. This phenomenon was on the rise due to the change in economics. As cost of living increased, employment and job availability was out of sync with these growths. This led to employees becoming more desperate-they had to maintain their jobs at all costs because unlike the past, the faced the possibility of long term employment.

Prior to starting this blog, I wrote about money management for women. This came about  when working in my HR capacity  and  learned about the staffs’ (primarily female) views on money. The blog was well received but I stopped writing  it since I felt I could no longer do justice to the topic because, as mentioned, the economic climate was going through some serious changes and my prior knowledge and experience no longer rang true in my view.

Since I did keep the Workplace Sanctuary blog, though not updating, I noticed that occasionally a few readers did pop on the sight, perhaps looking for answers to their own situations. I decided to renew the blog and see where it leads.  writers chair

Though I’m still in the process of updating and expanding the blog to cover a broader range of issues that impact how we make a living in our changing society, please feel free to browse around check back to see what’s new

Do follow my posts on Twitter: @pimentelft

You can send me a personal email at


Other Voices

Through Twitter I stumbled across an interesting website/project all about workplace bullying. The site allows people to post their own experiences which I wholeheartedly support since those who do experience this abuse usually do so in isolation, not realizing how extensive this problem is.

Within the website, documentary filmmaker Beverly Peterson and her team have made available a number of resources and information that I recommend you explore. Education on this issue provides the tools for change. And, I must say, Ms. Peterson has done a superlative  job on capturing the many sides to workplace bullying via multi-media platforms.

Please explore her website

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